SOS-I met a guy

It happens every once in a while, perhaps connected with the recent Super Moon. I met someone I know I shouldn't be anywhere near, and its continuing, on a biweekly basis.

Why is it we are drawn to those that we shouldn't be drawn too? He lives on the other side of the country, and the mutually beneficial arrangement was going great, until I realized just as quickly it wasn't.

I said good bye, and I missed him already. He kissed me goodbye in public, and I let him. I took the day off work to BE with him.

I won't save a spot for someone in my life, If he wanted to be there, he would.
I shouldn't set myself up for failure.
He says all the right things.
This isn't supposed to happen like this
We are not going to label this.

All these thoughts go racing through my mind, and then he sends me a little message to say he loves making me happy, and I should get used to it......

F*ck

Living the Dream

Ahh, not too long ago, I saw all those classy women in their 30's, toting briefcases, dressed in power suits, yacking on cell phones about some thing that needed to happen right away.

I set a goal for myself, to be that corporate new age women, city gal, working and living downtown with the high pressure job.

I've achieved exactly what I wanted 5 years ago, and I'm just not sure how I feel. I secretly long to leave my laptop at work, ignore one of my 3 blackberries, and wonder why I wanted this for myself? 

I love my job, it drains my energy that craves to be exhausted. It satisfies that same personality that left me bored out of my scull is past jobs, and desperately looking for a way out. At the end of the day, I'm dizzy from the amount of obstacles being thrown at me, but happy I resolved it all.

I come home to my empty apartment, and look around, and wonder how could things have been different? Relationships on the back burner, no children, family far far away. Too exhausted to change it........

Is this the life I so enviously wanted? 

The newest goals are more of a work life balance, to have more energy, to maybe meet someone possibly and settle down, a best friend to share life and experiences. Maybe not the soccer mom experience for me, but things change. I'm envious of the soccer moms, and the joy their kids must bring them. The warmth of a family, the security of belonging to something that truly matters. 

Did I get it all wrong? Is it too late? Does this truly matter?

Meeting Friends at 30

I'm often surrounded by people that have no issues meeting a large group of great friends, but being fairly new to a large city, I find it difficult.

My time is spent generally at work, and although I like my coworkers, I'm not keen on jeopardizing that professional relationship. I've devoted so much time to my career that my personal life seems to be lacking. 

Now that I'm single, it's becoming much more obvious. I'm even hanging out with my ex boyfriend due to boredom, which is not healthy I'm sure. I think its a better idea to have a group of friends, than go from one relationship to the next, which I have been known to do in the past.

The people I do meet tend to be much younger than me, and the ones my age seem to be married with children etc. My circle of friends that I do know consist of past coworkers and ex boyfriends.

Are there other women out there that may be single, and find it tough to meet that solid group of friends? Are there other thirty-somethings out there that are single and like myself? I'm not always interested in going to the bars every weekend, but sometimes its fun.

How do others go from acquaintances to forming a friendship? I seem to be clueless on that step. I feel often like I'm suggesting a "date", it sometimes makes me awkward, but I have tried.

Any advice would be very helpful, please comment!